DIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed
I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me
that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When
I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I
had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the
receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he
didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He
smiled knowingly and added, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer
was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the
company due to "down sizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is
fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just
looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that
side."