A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed as
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the
worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with
trembling hands.

"Dear, Dad.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum
and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but
I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than
I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy
said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a
stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt
anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in
the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll
pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She
sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.
Love

Your son,

John.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school
report that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come
home.