An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this
procedure for 2 weeks'. The next time I see you, you should have lost at
least 5 pounds.

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly
60lbs!

'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded...'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going
to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.
'No, from the "*****" skippin'