The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis

Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The
rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep
the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different
games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan

Professional golf is the only sport where if you win 20% of the time,
you're the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a
law. ~ H. G. Wells

I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers
everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If
you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~
Henny Youngman

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf
ball.
~ Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both
of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino

I'm not saying my golf game went bad..., but if I grew tomatoes, they'd
come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino