Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up
mates.

2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and
Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged
with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny
started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video
shown on 6 internet sites.


Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes
a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a
disability. Drops out of school.



Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him
the slipper.

1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college,
and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster
care and joins a gang.  Psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers
being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair
with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.



Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school .

1960 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking
area.

2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug
possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.



Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model
plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1960 - Ants die.

2007 -  MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with  perpertrating
acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the
home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch
list and is never allowed to fly again.



Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary,
finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She
faces three years in  prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
Becomes gay.


(387 words)

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Comments

1Posted by zero on 2008-02-01 09:00:04
Afrikaans version here:

http://www.emailjokes.co.za/more/41887_Skool:_TOE_&_NOU.htm

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Submitted: 4 years ago
Contributed: TheSimpsons
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