An old lady dies and goes to heaven.

She's chatting with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates

When all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling  screams.

'Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter,

'It's only someone  having the holes put into her shoulder blades for the
wings.'

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the
conversation .

Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams. 'Oh my God,' says
the old lady, 'now what is happening?'

'Not to worry,' says St. Peter,

'She's just having her head  drilled to fit the halo.'

'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'

'You can't go there,' says St. Peter.

'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'

'Maybe so,' says the  old lady, 'but I've already got the holes for that..'