A woman walked into a police station where the desk sergeant asked if he
could help her. 
“Yes” she said, “I want to report a case of sexual assault”.   
“Where did it happen?” the sergeant asked.   
“In the park down the road” she replied. 
“Can you describe what happened?” 
“Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park when a man jumped out of
the  bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped
his pants to his knees and had his way with me”. 
“Could you give me a description of him?” 
“Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he
had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on
each leg”.

"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman”, said the
sergeant. 

“Yes”, said the lady, “He was an England cricketer”. 
“That's very observant”, said the sergeant, “You worked that out from his
accent?” 
“No”, she replied. “I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long”.